Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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