I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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