I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
