my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i already hear my dad disowning me
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
