I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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