I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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