I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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