Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
