careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
