He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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