I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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