We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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