dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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