That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
