This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
