My liver just broke up with me...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
