Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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