You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
