i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
