Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
