Nicole vs. Life
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Let's get the cat blown out
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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