It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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