You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
