Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
