I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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