i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
