I haven't been this sober since birth.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I love you. Go after that dick
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
