at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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