I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
