is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
