In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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