i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
