Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
