My first STD was from a foam party
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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