i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
