i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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