haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She needs sedatives and a leash
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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