I just pynch a tree in the face
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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