just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
