my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
