His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
worst night to have a conscience
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Randomize
