Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
