i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
