Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
