Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
