I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
