he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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