if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
