I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
