Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
