As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
